This post is coming again as a request from https://omhawee.com.ng/will-you-be-my-val/, if you haven’t read it, please do. I am so glad about the comment from one of my social media tribes asking me to write about how to fall in love with myself. It is most interesting because it is a practical thing with me over the years.
Today I lost the respect of a few people I love. Today I wished I have understood better how to love myself earlier before now but then today again I have chosen to love and honor myself instead of convincing others to do it for me everyday..i didn’t say it, I read it somewhere and I love that part of the writers post because it summarizes everything about self love.
One of the biggest challenges of life apart from our big dreams and aspirations is the struggle to accept, embrace and love ourselves. Like just take it! that this is who I am and any alteration changes my originality. furthermore, we should be 100% honest with who we really are and not trying to adjust to suit the other person and to be aware that not everyone we love will love us like we love them and to be cool with it. Simple or difficult?
Falling in love with self involves learning to be our own best friends, yea because many at times we turn to be our own worst enemies knowingly or unknowingly. Like god the father, son and holy spirit are one,they are best friends, same way we should be best friends with ourselves. Our soul, spirit and body should be in order. Listen to them, talk to them, care for them and all.
Self love discovery isn’t the problem most of the time; consistency in it is the problem. You meet this awesome person who you feel so connected with and you just always want to be with them, in the process, you fall out of love with yourself unknowingly, maybe, such that you feel your world will fall apart without them. That was just an example. I am sure you are waiting for the steps on loving yourself, so lets get to it.
- Believe in your potentials and abilities
The truth is once you think about a thing and you believe strongly in it, you eventually achieve it. I will use a practical example of when I aspired to become the first female president of my faculty some years back. There had been 2 attempts that didn’t work and my faculty then was the second largest in the prestigious University of Ibadan, let me brag about my school. My faculty was also one of the oldest in the university and everything about this aspiration was screaming NO! I didn’t even have money for campaigns and all, but I believed I can. Lines fell in place, with God and my team then, I won. It was like magic but it happened! The key is to identify what you want, claim it, believe it, love it and work towards it and BOOM! You have it.
- Listen to your intuition and be sincere with yourself
Oh this point is so sweet. Do you know that we choose to believe lies even when the truth is right in front of us? Where is love in deceiving yourself, eventually getting yourself hurt and cry? Loving yourself is more about telling you the truth! i remember when I had a serious misunderstanding with a friend. We were so close and we had good hearts towards each other even in the war, I felt the love and care. I had to listen to myself, sit myself down and tell myself the brutal truth. I heard my intuition said babe, I know you really value this friendship but its time to let it go! the truth was it was causing more harm than good and if i love myself, i better stay away. It hurts and I really felt bad about it but it was the truth and the only way out of the unhappiness it was causing me. Only you can tell you the truth! you only choose to do whats wrong even when you know what is right and if you do that it means you don’t love yourself because you keep hurting yourself.
- Forgive yourself(past, present and future)
Do you know some people blame themselves so much that they give up on trying again? Why? Why so hard on yourself? Its not your fault that things didn’t work out as planned it’s a matter of accepting that sometimes good people like you and I make bad choices and it doesn’t make us bad. It means we are mere men, we are human beings with blood running in our veins. Yes we all face the dark and horrible part of life, sometimes it is so bad that we cant share, but it not an act of self love if we hold it as an offence to ourselves. Its like putting ourselves in prison and exchanging our joy for sadness. If you truly want to practice self love, you have to forgive your past self, present self and even your future self of every mistake.it isnt as easy as it sounds because i try hard many times to forgive myself too for some decisions i took that didnt end well. the secret is i have learnt how to love myself.
- Make changes you know you should
About this, its very natural for you to know the time for some things about you to change. So let me site this hilarious example. I used to suck my fingers, two fingers on my left hand and my parents tried hard to stop me, but I wouldn’t just stop. I can suck it anywhere, it was that bad. Loll. I got to secondary school and it wasn’t so easy for me to continue. My parents already gave up helping me stop at that time. I even had the habit of putting my head on my locker in class and suck my finger so my colleagues wont see me, so bad..lool. When I got to jss3 and I was made the head girl, I just knew I had to stop sucking my fingers if i truly love myself. Nobody advised me to change, nobody forced me, I made the change by myself. So there are changes you know you should make, maybe you know you should respect people more or spend time with God more etc.. you know these changes. Make them if you truly want to love yourself
- Give yourself a chance to explore
Do new things, try read books outside of your favorite authors, visit new places. Just explore new ideas and opportunities. Do not let not the fear of not knowing how it will end hinder you from trying new stuffs. You will feel like you won a jackpot after trying out new things and you love it. Like a movie I saw, MISS DIAL, I don’t know if anyone has seen it. The lady dialed a wrong number and made friends like that..it was a mistake at first but she found out she loved it and she went for it and eventually found true love. So try out new things don’t be scared.i love myself and i have been trying new things, choose to keep my discoveries personal for now so dont ask me please.. lool
- Do something every day that makes you happy
Hahahahahahahahahahahaha…. Be happy. Do that thing that makes you really happy. Talk to that person that makes you laugh. Watch movie you always love to.. just do anything to make yourself happy. For me its blogging and when my blog was not reachable for more than 24hours, OMG, you needed to see my face..looll.
Life is too short to be sad. Care for yourself by doing things you care about. Stay away from people who bring you down, be grateful and contented with who you are and what you have, avoid unhealthy competitions, the rat race type, start telling yourself how much you love yourself, loosen up and be a little less seious about stuffs..i am so bad at this loosen up thing. I even write rules and regulations for myself like I cant talk to who I don’t know of facebook, when you want to chat me, you say good morning etc and all those shit but that was then, I am much better now don’t imagine me that way….i love myself and yes i have put all these things i wrote about into practise, sincerely. its being a sweet feeling.
i am endlessly falling in love with myself now and forever. Amen
True love for yourself remain with you no matter what that is why you have to put these in your to do list. You know I love you and would sure reply your comments.